In love after 36 hours.........................

 If you haven't heard yet....WE GOT A REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It has only been 36 hours since I saw the face of our future child and I have already experienced so many emotions...I don't know what to do with all of them! I can see why people say this is the hardest part about the adoption process...I just want to jump on a plane and go pick up our child and bring him home....NOW!

The first night after seeing his face...I cried myself to sleep thinking about how long it might be until we see him and morning the time we have missed in his life. But, the Lord quieted my heart by saying...'this is the child I have for your family and I have taken care of him and held him in my hands, trust me'  This precious child with cute little rosy cheeks, gorgeous eyes, and a beautiful smile is not ours...will never be ours. He is God's child. I can so rest in this and know God has a plan for this child...hopefully in our family. In a very short amount of time..this face has captured my heart and I am so in love! I automatically view the world in a whole different light. I definitely did not expect to feel this way at all. Last night, Dee and I started the movie, Invictus, with Matt Damon and Morgan Freeman...I think I cried for the first ten minutes of the movie. Seeing African people... knowing the struggles they have endured in our world for hundreds of years...was brought to a whole new light. Now that I see the face of our child...this struggle has all of a sudden become more real and even personal. Then, yesterday as we ran errands, I realized I did not have a picture of our child with us...I felt strange...like something was missing...I needed to tell people and show people them we have another child, but he's just not with us yet. It was a weird feeling, but a good one. After explaining all of my emotions to Dee, I can tell he has somewhat distanced himself after our initial excitement in getting the referral. He just doesn't want to get too excited, because this little boy is not our child yet. The adoption process is long and with everything that has been going on in Uganda, it is just unpredictable. So, as I fall head over heals for this child...Dee is standing back, trying to guard his heart. I guess we balance one another. We are going to just have to give all these emotions and feelings to the Lord and just let him sort them all out, but I can tell this is not going to be easy...I am needing JESUS in a whole new way now!!

Thank you all so much for your comments, your calls, and your excitement...it all means so much more than you will ever know! Oh, I wish I could show you pictures, but under Ugandan Law they prohibit pictures of orphans in a public forum, such as blogs and facebook, during the adoption process...it could prevent us from adopting him. Please pray that we receive a court date sooner than later! God is so good and I am over joyed with his blessings!