Follow up from yesterday...

(This is a follow up post from yesterday, you can go to it HERE.)

Some people say that I had these emotions because I was not prepared, that I did not do my research on attachement and bonding. Well, I actually did read a couple of books that definitley helped me know what to expect, Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child and Toddler Adoption: The Weavers Craft. Neither one of these books talked about the parent to child bond would be hard. They both talked about how the child to parent bond is the big issue, RAD, (Reactive Attatchment Disorder).  Maybe I overlooked a chapter, that I should have read, but I don't know. I was not surprised by his actions, I expected this, but these authors did not talk about how "I" as the parent might feel toward the child. I think I could have read every single book on attachment and bonding and still felt overwhelmed by these feelings I was experiencing. An attachment book is not going to make me LOVE, truly LOVE.  I believe this kind of love only comes from Jesus Christ. The only book that will teach me to truly love is the Bible and this is where I want to do most of my research, this is where I soak in the most wisdom on parenting my children, even adopted ones. I have to trust that God will give me discerment on how to raise my children. I do not claim to be an expert... I am just a mom, trusting Jesus to help me get through life, because I am a distaster otherwise. But, my prayer for this blog is for God to use my feable attempts at writing our journey to bring him glory.