God is the one doing it, not me

   God has changed me and opened my eyes to the need of orphans, widows, the poor, the needy, 'the least of these'. I have done nothing different in my life, but respond to him changing my heart. I did not spend more time with God, I did not read the bible more, I did not go to more Bible studies, God just miraculously changed me.   

   I have seen God work in my life for many years now. I assume he started working the moment of conception, but I did not realize his hand was on my life until I was in high school. It wasn't until college that I knew I needed him more than I needed myself. It was then that I realized the depth of my own sin. My relationship with him really blossomed and I could not get enough of his word and seeking him. The Lord filled me up with his love, so that I was then compelled to share this news of redemption with others. That summer the Lord led me to China to grow me in him and be changed by sharing with others. The gospel really seems to work this way. God reveals sin, you repent and realize you are not believing that God loves you, then once he fills your cup, it can't help but overflow with his love! You are compelled to share your 'treasure' with others.
      This past year of my life has been one of the worst and best years. The worst because the transition of going from one to two kids was definitely the hardest experience of my life on many different levels. It was the best year, because God used my suffering to show me my sin, reveal my idols, bring me to my knees, and rid me of myself, so I can trust his saving grace and ultimately show me true joy in him. I can testify that the Lord really and truly changed me. I have freedom in so many areas that I have struggled with for years. I still have a long way to go, but I am confident that the Lord will finish what he has started.
    I am so thankful that it is the Lord that sanctifies me, because I am not good at being a christian. I am not patient or kind (with my children). I am often envious of others, I like to boast about myself, I am often proud (thinking my way is right). I am sometimes rude, I am mostly self-seeking (wanting to talk about myself), I am very easily angered (with my husband), and I keep a record of wrongs (with my husband). I never protect, trust (overwhelmed alot), hope, or persevere. I will always fail others...BUT, "the person and work of Jesus in my life," is making me a new creation. My hope is that he will continue to mold me and shape me into his likeness:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
I Corinthians13:4-8a 

 His love compels me to love others

I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.
 Matthew 25:40

Sarah Groves wrote and sang this song, "I saw what I saw", during her time in Rwanda. A Beautiful and inspiring song about the pain and suffering that changed her. God does not compel everyone to adopt a child from Africa, but if he does, every video of African children, put to music, will make you cry!! And I have never even been to Africa! This is truly a work of the Lord!