I want to want the things of the Lord

My sin is so ugly and it creeps up on me without even realizing it. The past several days, I have been frustrated because I cannot buy things to organize my house and make my life easier, much less buy spring clothes, like I deserve to buy... "Everyone else is doing it." I took it out on my husband last night, after he told me how ridiculous I was being. The Lord convicted me and by the end of the night I was asking God what is wrong with me? How can I be so excited about saving money one moment for our adoption and the next minute angry that I can't buy new salad bowls, because all five are chipped in several places. I know that all this "stuff" does not bring true joy, but in the moment, I sure would like to have a new laundry divider, now that I am washing lights in one wash and darks in another (long story). I want, to want the things of the Lord, but often I want the things of the world. The Lord has shown me how ridiculous I really have been by allowing me to read this post, "M". The sufferings of these children are more than I can bear. This puts all my petty frustrations to rest. How could I not want to save my money for one of these children? How can I live the way I do and know that these kids do not have food, water, beds, and a mother or a father. Jesus, change my heart! Oh, come rescue us from this world!

 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! Romans 7:21-25